Wounded
We don't make it very far in life, often
without being wounded in some fashion.
When we're little, we make up little nursery rhymes about it.
The sticks in the stones,
and we use fun sayings to obscure the fact
that it's often the emotional wounds that linger.
Scrapes can heal, bones can heal.
But sometimes the words and the experiences,
they're like a bad seed that gets planted deep in our being.
We can harbor them there,
and they can grow for quite nearly our entire lives,
to point that we don't even realize that they're there.
But they can manifest still in different ways.
And today, I'm going to try to help us do a little excavation
and get down, find where are some of these wounds?
How do they manifest?
How can we look at the patterns,
the problems that we're having in our life and realize
that there is emotional work that can be done,
that can free us from some of these things
that we are carrying with us.
And can the manifestation of that,
the realization of it in our life
tangibly help us move forward in health?
Help us take a powerful step toward healing and greater
well-being.
Grab a coffee or tea.
Dive in with me.
Let's do some thinking and reflecting.
And here at the start, before we dive in, kind of a heavy topic,
I want to just center everybody say this is fasting space.
My whole goal on this session I'm Doctor Z. If we haven't met.
So nice to have everybody here fasting space.
Very simple okay.
On many levels.
But many times in life is the most simple things
that are the most profound, the most easy to overlook.
We have a culture that is focused on consumption.
It's a culture that is focused on external things,
external gratification, that we find happiness places
other than within our own being.
And this can keep us stuck in cycles of distraction
and consumption
that keep us from realizing deeper truths,
deeper levels of peace, contentment.
We take a minute.
This is what I want in fasting space.
In the face of that,
the distractions that are pulling us away from so often peace
and contentment, putting us into a cycle of needing things
in order to keep up a feeling.
Physical open space in the body of fasting space.
Space for the body to rest.
We don't often see it that way.
We think, oh, I'm going to have a snack that feels good.
That's going to help me to rest.
But think about the paradox.
We're eating something.
We think we're done, but we just committed the body
to 12 hours of work to process that.
You really want to get into a deep level of rest in the body,
take the burden
of all the food processing off the body,
let things really calm down.
All of a sudden, there's space in the body
that wasn't there before.
All of a sudden there's more room.
Okay, people don't realize how much the immune cells of the body
are working during food processing
to protect us from foodborne illness.
I like to say they're like the National Guard.
They're going and doing some service work, okay?
They're not fighting.
They kind of fighting.
The war still got the E coli and all this stuff.
They're trying to battle that off so we don't get sick.
So many spaces in the body.
We say fasting space
taking us toward a healing space is physically
okay because it's interacting with the immune system.
Then we are trying to get emotionally, do you see that
we're building out the connection, mind and body.
Same thing.
We like to split it out and say that it's different.
Look where we started.
Things can be wounded
so often it's the emotions that are wounded.
Where is an emotion?
You know, we just think of it in the mind,
but it's in the body to okay, same thing.
The whole body experiences everything that we experience.
And so we say we have a simple goal.
You say, doctor Z, I just want to lose some weight okay.
Do we need to dive so deep?
Well, you know, maybe maybe not.
Okay.
If you have a process.
Someone said to me the other day, I just.
I just need a little too much, you know?
Okay. We're going to dive into that today.
I just need a little too much, you know, not a big deal.
And maybe it's not.
Listen, look at some of the sessions that we did in the fall.
What is the most important question in weight loss?
We dug into that.
What do I really want?
You know, this is the sort of thing.
See, eating is pleasurable.
It's one of the best things that we do.
You know, I think, you know, it's great.
I want people to have a beautiful, healthy relationship
with food.
Food is nourishing to our body.
You know, a viewer in the fall was saying,
we've got to bring a what they said sacred.
Realize the sacred.
There's a word we don't use in society.
We're taking something into our body and making it a part of us.
Like if there's anything that's a special process,
we got to bring some reverence to that, I think is a great idea.
Okay, so eat a little too much simple thing you say,
but have you tried to stop it?
Right. Very hard for people to do.
Very, very difficult space actually.
And if it's not difficult
and if it's not your choice, then there's no pressure.
Certainly nobody has to practice fasting.
Nobody has to change their diet
in any way that you don't want to.
But when you start peeling back the layers,
you realize that the reasons we do, the things that we do
that seem simple actually often have a deeper layer.
I want to try to help us get to that today, say
as well, it's a simple thing.
I eat a little bit too much.
I just want to eat a little bit less.
But then we see that it's hard oftentimes.
Here's another paradox.
It's a fasting space.
It's actually the easiest way to do it.
Have you experienced it?
Where are you say, well I want to eat a little bit less,
but then you're not satisfied.
It puts you in a frustrating sort of space.
You don't feel content.
Have you had it where you are trying to?
Eat just a little bit,
but then you're less content than when you had nothing.
See, when you eat a little bit,
you're turning on the food system.
The body is built to eat meals.
This is what I want people to see, bodies built to eat meals.
You start eating one thing.
It's telling the body food is coming.
It's turning on the entire digestive system.
Body doesn't know if there's like,
you know, one chip coming in or two bags.
You know, it's like it's got to do the same thing.
We fire up all the hormones telling the body,
start making stomach acid, start making insulin, start
making everything okay.
And then we eat one little bit and the body's like,
come on, does it feel like that?
It's like, come on.
Like, what are you doing to me? Here
we stay in the fasting space.
A special space is nothing but nothing.
Turned on bodies. Got the message here. Okay?
It's like nothing is happening.
Much easier to eat, nothing than one little thing.
Tell me if you think that's true.
At least many times. It's true, right? So fasting space.
I hope you can see we're starting to build it out
a profound space.
The connection between mind and body is here.
And I still try to say on this
they said, do we really have to dive so deep?
If it's a very superficial layer is available in fasting,
you don't have to dive so deep if you're not ready to do it.
And if you can accomplish every good thing you want, you say,
I don't have wounds.
I don't have things I need to heal emotionally.
I just have a habit that I need to change.
We've been doing atomic habits.
Say, check out the sessions.
We're going to dive more on that.
So we're just going to change a habit.
But even a tarmac habits, when you read into it, isn't it going
so deep.
It's going, remember that picture
you went to like layers of the onion
that that just the habits are on the outside.
You want to drill way down.
And that book really challenged us.
I did the session the most important question in weight loss.
I said, what do I really want?
Because that is setting our intention and helping to guide us.
Atomic habits challenged
us, said really is the most important question
who am I right
that that is getting really to the core of our being.
And when we make atomic changes there
that that radiates outward.
So even there, a book
that is completely about habits is drilling deep.
Who am I?
Okay, fasting space, giving us a chance
because body and mind are the same.
When we're clearing out the food, what do we replace it with?
And one option is to replace it
with a deep and profound question, even for five minutes.
I like to tell people the internet, you know,
say fasting is 1608 or oh, mad.
Okay. But I like to say it's like a dial. It's a whole spectrum.
We could bring it down to the atomic level just to five minutes,
if that's where we want to start.
But 16 eight, also a great place to start.
Marie says.
Yeah, impossible to have one chip, one cracker food industry.
It's the new tobacco industry pushing
what they know is bad for us.
Yeah. It's tough. You know, the financial incentives.
They got a big financial incentive to do it in people
making a huge amount of money.
And so this is why we have to be very, very thoughtful.
This is why in the fall, we did the sessions go back.
I made a whole playlist of it thinking fast and slow,
getting into the psychology of how the mind works
and how it can be manipulated by marketing
and our environment to do things that we don't really want.
And we got to be very thoughtful
to get into a space where we can.
Stay true to ourselves. That's why the identity is so important.
When we're clear on who we are and what we want
and what we're doing, then we can start to see the discrepancies
between society and the type of life that we want to be living.
The other book that I've been diving through a lot historically,
the Creative Act,
how we create our way of being because the way we want to be in
the world is a healthy way of being
in, when we are existing in a healthy way.
This is actually what brings healing into the body
in so many times because you say,
oh well, don't we want healing like
and we want healing to be like
a magic wand, like something that you can just.
Have done to you?
That's what we want healing.
We want something that can be done to you.
And maybe sometimes some things can be like that.
You have an infection and you take an antibiotic.
That's the closest thing I can think of to a magic wand.
You take the pill
and it literally is like having great efficacy.
But many things in life are not like that.
Many things in life, especially with chronic disease.
And this is the thing that I really want
chronic illness or something,
and we can put weight issues into that space.
It's a chronic problem.
Or did the whole sessions previously, is it really a disease
or is it just the physiology of the body?
And there are just pros and cons to this.
The body is built to store energy for us
so that we can survive incredibly difficult things.
And and you know, the body has encountered
a situation in our society which really is a good thing.
And from a certain perspective, there's just more energy here
than the body knows what to do with.
And the body is trying.
This is how we bring in the compassion,
and we see the body is trying to protect us.
It is trying to take a difficult situation and give us resources
so that we can survive and thrive.
And the fasting space, the body is carrying a burden to do that.
Sometimes that's part of the wounding
that we've experienced, that
the body is looking for something soothing and things,
all these things.
Fasting can be a gift.
Say, hey, you've been carrying a burden.
We're going to open up some space and allow that to be released.
That process, releasing energy
that is no longer serving us can be a healing process.
This is what I want, but it can also be a difficult process.
That's why we're moving toward things
as gently and thoughtfully as possible,
as one side of it,
but also as powerfully and courageously as possible.
Because human beings, if there's anything a human being can do,
is to do something difficult but meaningful.
And and this is what we really want.
Difficult and meaningful only if we're called to do it.
If you want to climb the mountain, that's what I'm saying.
If you want to climb, nobody has to stay at the base camp.
I say we take a vacation, we go to the mountains.
You don't have to climb the mountain.
You enjoy it.
You can just look at it, gaze upon it, and all that is fine.
But then one day you might decide it's time to climb.
And maybe we don't make it, you say.
Maybe I don't make it all the way up the mountain
just to try it.
You know, I was talking with someone yesterday.
They say even if I failed, like, just to know in my life
that I tried, you know, I just gave it a shot, you know?
Here's a section.
I'm going to take this section.
We're thinking about wounding.
Okay. We have a long introduction of thoughts.
And then just to try to put us in a space where we can move
toward something difficult, if that's what we need to do.
This section is called
your subconscious mind is trying to communicate with you.
And that is a very interesting thing
to think about in and of itself.
We did the thought just the other day.
What is your internal guidance system saying this is the idea?
Brianna here says within our self-sabotaging behavior.
And maybe that's something simple, right?
So maybe we're aware
we just need a little bit more than we really want to be doing,
but we can't seem to stop self-sabotaging.
Really. See, we kind of like it, but then we don't.
You feel like that you're in this conflicted space.
I know I've been there a lot.
It's like I'm watching this stuff coming in.
I'm like, I didn't want to be doing this.
I'm not even going to be feeling as good,
you know, 20 minutes from now.
But then it's very hard to stop
because all these things are hitting
actually core powerful circuits in our brain.
We're getting hijacked by industry,
like Marie says, is scientifically programing our food
to manipulate our emotional state as much as anything.
Listen to this.
Within behaviors like that lie incredible wisdom.
Oh man, don't you want incredible wisdom?
I do.
Not only can these things tell us how
and what we have been traumatized by,
they can also show us what we really need.
Embedded within each behavior is actually the key to unlock it.
If only we can understand it first.
And there's the trick. Right there is the trick.
How do you understand?
It's like a puzzle.
I did the session before. Clues to the weight loss puzzle.
This is getting into that space.
How we start to have been grace into things.
We realize, okay,
we are navigating a very tricky and difficult space,
and it's something, quite honestly, that most people in society
don't really attempt to really solve.
And the way to solve
it is not always the logical way that we think,
because we are sold in this society that losing weight is easy.
Don't you know that it's all calories?
And if you just cut your calories to a certain level,
you should be able
to put a sticker on the calendar on the day that it works okay
and when.
And anyone who has tried to do
it also knows that it doesn't really work that way,
or it's at least not easy to make it work that way.
And then we are guilt tripped for failing.
Okay, which is the very worst thing
that you can possibly do to yourself.
But this is what society does because it wants to sell you
something else to solve your problem
a new gym membership, a new supplement,
a new bar, you know, a new powder.
Okay. New pills.
When really the way to solve this naturally,
at least if you want to use a natural path,
which I've prescribed literally thousands and thousands
of pharmaceutical products to help people lose weight,
I really gave myself to it and ended up very disillusioned,
I will tell you.
Very disillusioned and I decided to stop doing it.
After doing many round trips with people through it
and dealing with many side effects
and spending unconscionable amounts of money,
you know, through insurance and the whole mess of the system,
I said, you know what?
I'm going to just try something else.
And fasting came to me.
And it is really it's just it's been
it's been a closer thing to a miracle,
as I have found in medicine, really.
Says, I've begun looking for joy in the
every day rather than rushing through life.
Beautiful.
So help me slow down,
appreciate that I can change habits and feel better.
This is.
This is a really beautiful reflection.
Thank you for sharing that.
This is this is where we're going to go.
You know, in this cycle I'm going to help us walk through.
They're gonna there's like 50 scenarios that they put in here.
I just picked out like the top five, you know,
and we're actually going to bring it back to that place.
This is really how we start working
through some of these things,
finding gratitude and realizing that the joy is present.
Here we go looking for it everywhere,
but for the one place that it actually is.
And that's very hard to see. And it's something I've read.
I read lots of books, you see, I read lots of books,
and I've read lots of books on
philosophy and healing and so many things,
and they're all telling me Joy is present here.
I'm like, no, doesn't feel that way.
Christie is here. Hello. So good to see you.
I hope you are well today.
So, so many products set you up to fail,
making you feel worse than before.
Isn't that the case?
This is the perverse situation with it.
So many things. So many products of any kind.
Whether it's a pharmaceutical product, a food product,
some sort of device,
have some sort of short term
benefit to it that hooks you, you know,
it gets you because you get evidence in your life.
This is just like one chip.
Don't you beat one chip and you say,
oh, this is so good, you know, and you temporarily feel better.
And then you say, I want another one.
But then it starts a cycle that sets you up to fail
because, you know, you eat a bag of chips,
you're not really going to feel better,
you know, and so many things are like that.
If everything that was ultimately bad for us felt immediately
bad and gave us negative reinforcement,
we would not do very much of any of it.
But unfortunately, there's the hook and it sets us up to fail.
Yeah. Have to slow down.
Like Marie says, you got to slow down and we got to build
like it is saying
in this section, you need wisdom
in order to be able to avoid cycles like that.
And wisdom is not something that is always easy to find.
Slowing down though, if there's a way to find
wisdom, it is from slowing down and being very thoughtful.
Here are a couple scenarios out of this incredible list
that we will use to reflect.
And if some of these are not your thing, no big deal.
And if one of them is we, maybe one of them helps to key
into the thing that is really your thing.
Okay.
You're feeling unhappy even if nothing is wrong.
And really, you say, I've gotten everything
I wanted in life, yet you're still unhappy.
Okay, say,
what might the subconscious mind be trying to communicate?
You see,
you are probably expecting outside things to make you feel good,
rather than relying on changing
how you think and what you focus on.
No outward accomplishment is going to give you a true
and lasting sense of inner peace.
Your discomfort, despite
your accomplishments, is calling your attention to it.
See, I think that is really I think that's really deep.
We've done some sessions on happiness, right?
Who doesn't want to be happy?
Everybody wants chasing happiness.
This is the cycle.
This is part of this setting us up to fail, that we can say,
okay, most things.
Do you think this is fair to say
most things that we can buy people trying to sell it,
sell it because they say you're going to be happier
by buying my product or service or thing, right?
That might even include programs or education or so many things.
Go to this school. You're going to be so happy.
You're going to feel better.
As I say, some young person,
how many people feeling disillusioned in our society.
So I got the special degree.
I did the thing.
Okay, where are we looking?
For happiness and contentment?
Here's another key one I put a star by eating poorly
when you don't want to.
So here's the key thing that we're trying to unwind, right?
This is what we said in our space.
We're trying to get to this.
Take a thing that seems so simple okay.
I never really finished my thought I realized from before
sometimes approach simplicity with simplicity.
Okay.
And I said before,
okay, maybe we don't have to be diving so deep.
I'd want him to finish the thought.
If you can say most people eating three meals a day
and you say, I can just eat two meals a day.
You say, that would be the simplest change
I think you could make.
Some people can do that.
I've told people I've had three minutes at the end of a thing,
and someone brings up like,
I need something to do to lose weight.
I was like,
do you eat three times a day? Can you just eat twice?
What might that look like?
Maybe you just skip breakfast, have a coffee like so.
You can say what fasting is very simply.
And if someone can just take a habit like that and just do it,
you know, can help.
Or some people say, I don't want to skip breakfast.
I say, can you knock out dinner? Can you knock out lunch?
But kind of crunch things together
so we can open up some fasting space?
However it works. So many people snacking before bed.
Sometimes I tell people before knocking out a breakfast,
can you just knock out some bedtime snacking?
See if you're done with dinner at seven,
but you're eating at ten before bed.
As like if you knock out that snack to open up
three more hours of fasting space.
See, that's just changing a habit
that's approaching things from the superficial layer.
I think sometimes that's the right place to go.
I'm not ready to dive into the core of my being
and do all these things, okay?
Like, let's just change some habit.
We can work the other way
just because some person says do it a different way.
What's your path?
You know, you got to listen to yourself. So that's the thought.
I wanted to throw that right at the beginning.
You know, just to tell people, take a deep breath,
no pressure to do anything.
Eating poorly when you don't want to say, just stop.
You know, like, okay, if you can just do that, it's just fine.
But then might your subconscious mind be telling you something?
Here's how to dive deeper.
So maybe you're doing too much.
You're not giving yourself enough rest.
And nourishment is why your body is requiring that.
You continue to feel it is looking for something, right?
Could be that you are emotionally hungry,
and because you are not giving yourself
the true experiences you crave, you are satisfying
your hunger in another way, right?
Body and mind and spirit like, so easy to forget.
This is what I was hitting in my big meditations
and in my little break body, mind and spirit.
Looking for something.
Okay, we're not getting it.
We're not taking space to process the emotions, right?
The anxiety, the negative thinking, all these things.
Minds like we gotta.
We're hungering for it in some way.
We're just eating is giving us some relief from it.
I think that one is really profound.
This is how we can get in a cycle of consumption.
We say, what is even driving or triggering it, you know.
Eat, feel better, but then bad again.
And all this cycle and it's like so many times we think.
Mind or body, sometimes we can be just trapped in the mind.
We forget about the body that it has needs and things.
So sometimes we could just be trapped in the body.
Forget about mind.
We think, oh, food, we just feeding the body.
But what is happening in the mental space?
This is why fasting space,
getting us right into the middle of that,
where we can look at health in both body and mind.
For someone else is overworking.
Unconscious mind might be saying,
you don't have to prove your value.
You do, however, have to stop running from the discomfort
of being alone
with your feelings,
which is very often the reason that people overwork.
This one resonated so much with me, I must have.
I must have been level level ten on this one.
I was so overworked I never learned how to say no in medicine.
I was doing so many things. It was. It was just ridiculous.
Running a hospital, medical service, clinic, medical director,
research program is insane.
It was all good.
You know, I learned from all of it.
It's like you say, we bring grace to it.
I see, I'm just. I'm trying to help people.
You know, I'm trying to use knowledge to help people.
But it was totally out of balance, was not sustainable.
And I realized.
But I also couldn't meditate. I'm not doing any meditation.
It just terrified me, really.
The idea, like sit alone in a room by myself without doing
anything, seemed pointless and lazy and a waste of time.
And anytime I would try to do it,
I would get jittery and I would.
I couldn't handle it.
And I realized, okay, overworking was just escaping from
the fact that I really wasn't okay with myself, you know?
Many people get into that kind of cycle.
That would be the test.
Can you take five minutes and sit alone with yourself
without doing something,
realizing that just being is okay?
And if you can't do it, you say, man,
there is some work to do there.
And can you see how that connects into this previous one,
where if we can't sit,
if we can't bring stillness to the mind,
that is especially a space where, okay,
this is where snacking can, you know, come in
because we got to do something to treat that.
We've said on the channel, you know, food is like a drug,
and it can be treating
a craving and an anxiety
and mentally just as much as emotionally.
Society.
So judging I see that just I filmed on the video
side of the channel, I, I have a fasting space.
I think I need to retail it because I just love fasting space.
Okay, I call our live show fasting space.
Two years ago I made this playlist fasting space,
which is just thoughtful spaces.
If you're dealing with a food craving, say,
how do I get through it?
Realize that's a hormonal experience in the body. Grayling.
These other hormones are thinking we're going to be eating.
It's trying to tell us we're getting our digestive system
going based on our patterns.
That process that hormone lasts 60 to 90 minutes,
but there's a peak that's like ten minutes.
So if we can ride out the most intense part,
we can often get through a hunger craving.
And that's the process of starting a put those hormones
back in their place, you know, to diminish it.
People say, how do I get out of a cycle of food craving
that is so intense?
This is another great paradox.
Is actually fasting as the process.
It's like,
put the hormones back away that are making us feel hungry.
The more we practice fasting,
which is difficult, this is going through the obstacle.
Actually, most people experience over time,
not necessarily instantly.
Hunger diminish because we're sending the message to the body.
We're not doing that anymore, okay?
We're not doing that now to see how that is a calming space.
That is, it's the opposite. It's actually eating.
It's like that is making us hungry.
And when we're eating all the time,
we're sending the message to the body,
you might have to be running the food system all the time.
We're just keeping this going.
This is how we build up.
Feeling hungry all the time can feel trapped in it.
To break out of the cycle. Fasting.
Help us break out lots of cycles.
Here's a big one caring too much about what other people think.
Oh, but I have to look at this a mindset shift yesterday.
Fasting in a way that is comfortable.
Help me to be happy
because I'm more consistent in changing my habits.
I love that, I absolutely love it, and this is really
the only way that I want people to approach fasting.
I do not ever want people to approach fasting in a way
that feels like anything else
you know, or feels like, oh,
I'm punishing myself or I'm restricting myself.
Fasting is very easy to look at and say, well,
it is a restriction like, I mean, from a certain perspective
it is okay.
But what I like to frame fasting
as the way I want people to approach it is just openness.
Fasting as openness and openness
is the most opposite thing from a restriction.
It is a space where we can encounter joy like that.
That's the way to realize I am not stuck
in a cycle of consumption that I can get into this space.
That's why I like to use analogy like a sailboat, because a
sailboat is floating, you know, it's not really doing anything.
It's just being open to the breeze,
and the breeze is taking it where it goes.
That is not a restriction mindset.
Caring too much about what other people think.
Have you ever done that?
Have you ever done things in your own life
because of what you think other people will think about you?
I lived for many years like that actually.
If you're doing that, this is what to say.
If you are doing that,
you are not as happy as you think you are.
The happy you are with something.
The less you need other people to be.
Instead of wondering
whether or not someone else will think you are enough, stop
and ask yourself, is my life enough for me?
And here's a deep question
how do you really feel about your life
when you aren't looking at it through the eyes of someone else?
See that this one is another really deep one to me.
I always like to say in this book, this book is like a mirror.
And sometimes we look in a mirror and we don't like what we see.
But Amir doesn't lie.
Isn't that the truth?
We look in the mirror is just showing us reality.
To me, this one is like a real mirror to me.
It's hard to be told you're not as happy as you think you are.
How can that be?
Don't we know ourselves?
Don't we know whether we're happy or not?
But I can certainly see how this is true for me.
At points in my life, I spent huge amounts of time
carrying a lot what other people think, and I still do.
I can see right now that I still do, but I don't want to,
I really don't.
Think there's one more I really don't, you know, it's a balance,
you know, I'm trying to learn.
I left a standard medical clinic.
I was starting to start trying to start a business.
I'm not a business person, you know?
I want good customer service.
I want my people who are coming to help.
I want people to have a good experience.
You know what I mean?
So I care very much about what people think in that way.
I want people to feel cared for
and not like we don't care about people.
But, you know,
this is operating on a level bigger than that, you know.
But something that we really feel called to.
That's what I'm saying.
You feel really called to act and be in a certain way,
but then you don't do it
because you say, this is one,
this isn't what people normally do, right?
What will people think or say?
You know, this is bringing up in my mind
a common conversation that I have with people,
people afraid to start fasting sometimes because they say,
what will my family think?
What will this person say won't because it's not the culture.
And, you know, to fasting really countercultural.
You know, we are in a consumption culture.
And when you start deviating from what culture does,
it can feel even to
even if you're not speaking, it can make other people.
Or we can worry.
Perhaps that will make other people feel judged
for not doing it.
Because don't people just want to do
what everybody else is doing?
Isn't that what makes a culture?
People, just everybody doing what everybody else is doing?
You say, but the culture isn't healthy, you know?
See, I want to move in a different direction from the culture.
Well, all of a sudden
when you start doing that, then you'll start worrying.
What will other people think in
that can be a big barrier to change in any way,
especially eating,
because as we're seeing as we dig into these spaces, how we eat
and what we eat is so connected to our emotional state,
and then it's connected into our social situation.
And speaking of social situations
here, here's the last little phrase that we look at today,
mindlessly scrolling through social media
as a way to pass the time.
Oh man.
See, there's a social situation, right?
Here's what they say about this.
This is one of the easiest ways to numb ourselves,
because it is so accessible and so addictive, so world altering.
Difference between using social media
in a healthy way versus as a coping mechanism.
And it has to do with how we feel when we're finished.
If you don't put your phone down and feel inspired or relaxed,
perhaps because you were able to connect with an actual friend,
you know.
Then you're probably trying to avoid some kind of discomfort
within yourself.
The very discomfort that might be the message
from the subconscious telling us that something needs to change.
Something needs to change. Hard to do.
Pick up the phone.
Okay, we're not going to do it right. We're going to do this.
No, I've done that.
I've gotten all social media off my phone.
Thank God.
I just wrote some notes on the side of the book here.
Okay.
Why do we do that?
Because we're wounded.
This is how I want to bring it back, right?
Wounded is where we are at.
We are looking so many of these things, pretty much
all these scenarios at the root of them, something isn't right.
Something hurt us, and we are using some sort of practice
or process
to try to soothe that, to try to bring comfort to us,
but it ends up creating a cycle.
So many things, a cycle.
We end up serving the wound.
This is what I was thinking the most about.
We end up serving the wound instead of doing things
as serving us and taking us in a direction because we were hurt.
There's some need that we have. It's very hard to say.
How do we get to the root level of something like that?
And so here I'm going to share a quote with us
to center our thinking for the day on it.
I got to take a deep breath before I hit it.
I think it's a big quote I was reflecting on yesterday.
Difficult is a difficult thing to do.
Bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open
because the world needs you open.
It is very easy
when we're getting into a deep emotional space to.
And I've used this language before and maybe there is
something good in it, and I have much more thinking to do.
I'm sure you know,
I did the sessions letting go of anger, letting go of regret.
I really loved those sessions.
I do think they're very good.
Letting go of things I think can be a very healthy.
Can. You let go of a trauma?
Is letting go of a trauma
the way you get rid of it or do in some fashion?
These things always stay a part of us?
Is acceptance actually the thing that takes us to
a place of healing from dark and difficult things.
Acceptance. Much different than letting go.
So if letting go is serving you as a thing,
I think there's certainly a place for it.
Accepting something means coming to peace with something.
If something is a part of us.
We've had experiences that were dark and difficult,
something that broke us.
Have you been broken by something?
I know I'd definitely have?
It can feel wrong.
And so we've gone through many paradoxes
just in this session today
and on this channel,
we try to see things from multiple perspectives.
Can you bless the thing that broke you?
That is something for a long time that I could not do.
That is a very deep emotional task.
But when we are trying to get the to the core of why
we do things that we don't want,
I think many times it takes something like this to do
the deep emotional work of really understanding ourselves,
who we are and why we do the things that we do
and why the, you know, our life has gone the way it has.
And these are things that need to be approached
very thoughtfully and gently.
But by diving into such a deep and profound space,
it opens up the possibility
that we don't just bury things anymore
and we don't cut off parts of who we are.
You know, I saw a quote.
Maybe I shared it here.
How did it go?
You can't you can't love yourself.
While hating the experiences that formed you and shaped you.
Something like that.
Okay, so we have all been shaped
and formed by experiences, good and bad,
and the path to a true holistic space of health
and healing in the body is that we can't hate ourselves.
And self-hatred so common.
We are often the most brutal with ourselves.
And I think we can't we can't hate anything.
Honestly, isn't hatred one of the core problems in our world?
That we have hatred of so many things and self-hatred
the most insidious and damaging?
And can you see how disease can arise
in a body that hates itself is so conflicted?
It is, the more you think about it is really horrible.
And that is one of the emotional states
that we can be experiencing without even realizing it.
Someone say, I don't hate myself, okay, but when we really dig
deep, you might find you might surprise yourself.
You might realize that you are harboring something like that.
And how would you even know?
Okay, how would you know? Actually?
Are you giving your space self the space
to let something like that have enough safety to emerge?
Because sometimes we bury so much of this stuff
so deep, and it's
kind of like a frightened child, you know,
maybe some of this stuff came from our childhood
and it's been harboring down there
because we were in a time in a space where it wasn't really safe
to share our true emotions and feelings.
And so some of that stuff just stayed stuck down there.
Fasting space, a parallel with the meditation
space, clearing out every distraction out of the body,
opening up enough space physically, emotionally
so that the darkness has a space to come out
and be seen and accepted.
And this is the quote, ultimately, can you bless it?
This is what I was saying from Marie's
thought at the beginning.
Can we find joy?
Can we bring gratitude to it?
Can we even bless it?
That's very deep.
We think.
How do you bring healing to a place where we are wounded?
Can it be from something like this?
To bring in the light?
Look toward the light. I love that session. We did.
Look toward the light.
Bring goodness, positivity, love, and grace
into the dark places in our emotional state.
Does that help us get to the root
or see something that was difficult to change?
Remember, we're starting at a very simple place,
like I'm eating when I don't want to.
I'm eating things I don't want to.
There's more calories than I want.
Seems very simple if you can change that on a superficial layer.
Like we said, just change the habit.
You lose the weight that you want is beautiful.
Want to help you do that?
Might be as easy as just stopping some evening snacking.
Okay, but if you're having trouble changing,
if you're trying to move toward it, encourage you.
Take this quote and really think about it.
You know, where is brokenness that you have experienced,
and what does that mean in your being about who you are
and what you do and the decisions you make?
Open up some space
where you bring in some deep breathing, calm the nervous system.
Big, deep breath in and then hold.
And then a deep breath out and hold out and in a cycle.
And maybe you can't do that right away.
You just got to go in and out for a while. That's fine.
But as you slow the breathing, it'll help
bring calm into the body,
help you approach something difficult that's in the mind.
I would say it took years.
For me, it is a multi-year process to bless the most dark
and difficult things, so don't feel overwhelmed by it.
Simply having a mindset that you would be open to being
the type of person that can do it is a profound change.
How many people would attempt something like that?
Very difficult.
But can you see? Can you feel even to speak it?
Can you feel that that type of process
I know as I'm speaking it,
I just feel like it's slowing down.
Maybe the breathing.
Help me do that.
Slow down the rate, bring the pressure down.
Realize, doesn't this help us get to the most grounded state
where things are really at peace?
People say, I come in the fasting space,
I just want to lose some weight.
I want to lose.
Some of this. Okay, I want that for you.
Is there another layer down?
To find a space of peace and contentment?
Isn't that even better?
You know, it's like, let's find a space like that.
Peace, contentment flow forward in a space
like that where we can encounter joy.
If we can encounter a space like that, might
we be getting less calories in a day?
Yes, probably.
Might that process
help us to lose weight in a sustainable fashion?
What I want for people.
This is not a not a lose weight quick process very much.
I want people to lose all the weight they want.
Honestly, as quick as can be, that's fine.
But I really want people to lose weight sustainably.
I've seen lots of people
who have hit many different kinds of weight loss processes
very, very hard and lost a lot of weight,
but could not maintain it because they were pushing them
in a way that was beyond their toleration.
And it's actually building a foundation.
And to me, many of these things building the strong foundation,
so you really understand
things and are at peace with things
so that you can flow with it without struggling.
I tell people there's there's struggle.
You try to lose weight. That can be a struggle.
But what we want is struggle.
We want to minimize struggle, maximize flow.
We're trying ultimately, the the big picture of these things
try to find a flow state so that we can move
toward our goal in as gentle and powerful away
as possible, gentle and powerful,
like a river that's carving through the canyon stone.
You know, water is such a powerful force, but also gentle.
And it flows and it's not forced. Murray says.
I've only recently started tackling my stress level
because of learning about high cortisol,
been checking my blood pressure
more and incorporating deep breathing into my day.
So good, so good.
That's the foundational level, I love that.
Really beautiful to share this space with you.
I hope you have a beautiful day.
Incorporate
some of these thinking some of this thinking into the day.
Do some reflecting.
I'd say get out the journal and do some writing
with some really deep questions in this session,
and approach it from the most thoughtful perspective.
Bring love and compassion to yourself.
That's the way we start really feeling that deeper level.
Have a beautiful day.
I look forward to connecting with you again tomorrow.
